You're Gonna Miss This

Writing for a blog can be a little scary. It's intimidating to put your life, thoughts, loves, and fears online where who-knows-who will come across them. Even for me, trying to update this blog that serves no purpose except trying to stay connected with far-away family and friends, I struggle with deciding what I should and shouldn't share. I've mentioned before that I try to keep things light and cheery. I tend to only write about the positive things. But lately I've come to appreciate people who share more openly. I have some friends who are candid about the struggles they're facing and the mistakes they've made, and it's like a breath of fresh air. Especially when it comes to this parenting-thing, I'm grateful to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with losing patience, who can never keep the home clean enough for a very curious baby, and who wonders weekly whether this-newest-symptom-is-worthy-of-a-phone-call-to-the-doctor. So this month I'm going to be a little more vulnerable, and share a little more deeply.

Remember my sweet little nine-month-old who was sleeping beautifully and growing perfectly and always a joy to be around? Yeah. You can say good-bye to her. Say hello instead to my ten-month-old Tantruming Terror.

An all-too-familiar sight in our home these days

It isn't really her fault. She's dealing with seasonal allergies (in this family we welcome Spring with several empty tissue boxes), a whirlwind trip to Utah, the new demands of a growing body, the beginnings of separation anxiety, and the never-ending-desire to explore everything! She also caught her first cold this past month, which has now escalated into bronchitis. So all in all, it's been a crazy month. She's dealing with it the best she can, I'm sure.

I just wish we could get her to sleep again. She insists on only one nap a day, which means that she is cranky for the rest of the day. She is getting up in the middle of the night again, and has a established a 5:00 a.m. wake-up call. Really, Abby? Really? Everyone is miserable.

She often cries herself to sleep with her face pressed up again the bars. Heartbreaking, no? I don't envy the neck aches she must have.

In mid-March we took a very brief trip to Utah to attend the wedding of Jacob's sister. It was fast and furious and these two cousins caused a lot of mischief.

We all got up early on the day of the wedding and went to the dance hall to set up for the wedding and reception. It was a beautiful day, but also long and exhausting. There was a lot to be done. For the first time in her life, Abigail experienced what it's like to be stuck in a playpen and ignored for hours at a time. (I'm definitely getting one of these for our next baby.)

(Kidding...kidding...don't get upset.)

We also managed to fit in a trip to the zoo. Abby especially loved it.

Then we came back home and tried (unsuccessfully) to regain our sanity.

"Why would anyone do this horrible thing?"

Abby's favorite activity this month is destroying anything she can get her hands on.

She can almost always be found in a huge pile of books.

She is obsessed with the baby in the mirror. If I let her, I think she would play with the mirror for hours. I have to put an end to it because eventually she starts head-butting the mirror and/or wrestling with it. Not exactly safe. But she loves kissing the baby in the mirror, giving high-fives, and showing off her toys. All of our mirrors are covered in baby slime right now.

She also thoroughly enjoys Jacob's hats. She gets so excited when he puts one on.

But probably her favorite spot on the planet right now is the pantry. Anytime I need to distract her for a few minutes, I just open the pantry door. She can spot it from almost anywhere in the apartment, and she charges at it on hands and knees, screaming her characteristic battle cry the whole way, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" For the next several minutes all we'll see is her bum sticking out while she flings around boxes of baby food.

She is a nut. She's totally crazy. She's always on the move and leaves a tornado path in her wake. She wants everything we have, and she wants it now. She is wild. She is messy. She brings absolute chaos.

But, my heck, she is adorable. She is forgiving. She is affectionate. She is patient. She is smart and bright and curious. She is healthy, and she is beautiful. She is happy.

She is mine forever and ever. I love her.

Someday we'll get our sleep back.

Ten months old