Your Son Fabio?

I love my job. Really, I do. But there are days when I feel like I'm working with Dory from Finding Nemo.

Three Examples:

1. One day, I set up a game of bowling. We played for 45 minutes, and it was a blast - the residents were laughing and talking to each other and having a great time, not to mention getting physical exercise. I was feeling pretty good about myself, even though I was dripping with sweat. For me, that group was all about assisting the residents while they moved from one area to another, and setting up the pins over and over again.

As we ran out of time, I announced to everyone that we had time for everyone to have one more turn. They all had their last turn, and I started taking down the game. One resident stated, "It hardly seems worth it to have come out to only have one turn."

I almost fainted. She'd had SIX turns...but didn't remember any but the last one.



2. Another day, I walked onto a unit to see one of the residents in an argument with a nursing assistant. He was angry that he hadn't had lunch that day. The nursing assistant was trying to explain to him that he HAD lunch - but how do you explain that to someone who has memory loss and doesn't realize it? I'm sure he thought she was crazy when she told him he had had lunch, but didn't remember it.

(*Sidenote: I think she was being ridiculous arguing with him about it. If he's complaining that he didn't get lunch, he is obviously hungry. The correct way to handle it, in my opinion, would be to just apologize that he didn't get lunch and offer to get him something to eat. Silly woman.*)

To prove that he hadn't been to lunch that day, he went around to every other resident on the unit and asked them if they remembered seeing him at lunch. Of course, none of them did because THEY all have memory loss issues but don't realize it. He came back to the nursing assistant and proclaimed that none of the other eleven residents remembered seeing him, so he obviously wasn't at lunch that day. And she, of course, stuck to her story that he had been there and didn't remember, and nobody else did, either.

I think the residents must feel like they are in a spy movie or something; how scary/weird would it be to never know where you are, who the people are around you, why they know your name and talk to you like they know who you are, etc. Or why they insist that you've eaten when you don't have any memory of having done so.



3. I spent probably a full five minutes one day trying to convince one resident to join everyone for a group. She refused over and over again. Finally, I left and started the group. She emerged out of her room a few minutes later, and asked in a dejected tone why she hadn't been invited. She had heard all of us laughing and talking, and honestly thought that no one wanted her there. Poor woman.

You'll Be in My Heart - Always

This may be the longest blog entry ever.

While in Virginia over Mother's Day weekend, I came across a bunch of my old journals from late high school/early college years. It was an amazing experience to read over events and stories that I had completely forgotten about, but that, ultimately, led to where I am today.

I've been overwhelmed the last few weeks, thinking about how blessed I am to have so many incredible people in my life who taught me who I wanted to be, who brought me closer to Christ, and who stuck with me through the dark hours. And I feel sad, also, thinking about how difficult it is to stay connected with all those souls who mean so much to me.

Several of you (readers) received messages from me on Facebook about memories I had been reminded of while reading my old journals, which I wanted to share with you again. It was precious for me to re-connect with so many of you who have helped to shape my character and personality. Along those lines, I wanted to share some quotes on here. Maybe they will be meaningful to you and maybe not, but either way, this is probably the only time you'll get a look into my journal, so you may want to take a peek. :) And some of them, I hope, are at least slightly amusing.

(Sidenote: I learned two major things about myself when I reviewed these books. First, I used to cry A LOT. Second, apparantely I was a very angry person who started arguments with people all of the time. I don't do either or those things anymore. At least, I don't think I do. But if you're one of those people whom I used to pick fights with, I sincerely apologize. Maybe we should try being friends again. You may be surprised by my current personality.)

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February 19, 2002
"...then I realized what an incredibly stupid life I would lead if it weren't for Rachel."

September 15, 2002
"I've decided that I really love senior year. It's nice to not care about anything anymore."

September 20, 2002
"Government today was the greatest class ever. Mr. McGinnis talked about the Urban Cultures Club meeting that he had to go to. He hates that club, but he's the sponsor so he has to go to all of the meetings. Supposedly he thought they might do something cultural, but they really just break dance all the time. Anyway, he was talking about a meeting they had a few days ago, and about how the cheerleaders, Step Team, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and Urban Cultures Club had all been in the cafeteria at the same time, and what a funny mix it was. I quote: 'In one corner they're singing Onward Christian Soldiers, and in the other corner they're spinning on their heads to music that tells you how the molest girls three different ways.' "

October 17, 2002
"I've decided that I'm suffering from a pre-adult, not-really-midlife crisis."

February 22, 2003
"...the next night we went to Jordan's house and David brought this girl along [that none of us really knew very well]. At the end of the night when he was giving her a ride home, she told him that he should go out with me and he burst out laughing."

March 4, 2003
"Later on that night, we were driving around and these teenagers standing on the sidewalk starting throwing snowballs at our car. David rolled down his window and started yelling about how he hates kids and blowing his air horn that he always keeps in his car for some reason. I just sat in the passenger seat and laughed and laughed."

March 18, 2003
"'Best Technical Play' is such a stupid award anyway. As if I want people to see my play and think, 'Wow, look at how technical it is.'"

September 2, 2003
"We played frisbee with cookies for a while..."

"We sat around and talked in the lobby of my dorm for a while before Spencer, Austin, Jeremy, and a girl named Heather showed up. I left with them to stand under the bell tower so that when it went off we could all be permanently deaf."

October 5, 2003
"Elizabeth suddenly realized that she had an assignment due at midnight online, so she was hastily working while Erika helped her. The rest of us were playing cards, drinking chocolate milk, and eating pizza. We're pretty sure we gained about fifteen pounds that night..."
[Entry continues, talking about the next day when we fell asleep after a movie.]
"We woke up and felt really gross because we had eaten donuts for breakfast, and then we'd eaten a bunch of cookies and chips, and basically we just felt like we had gained fifteen pounds. Again."
[Entry continues...]
"The next day we watched a movie and played some games and gained fifteen pounds. Again."

November 17, 2003
"We also had Preference lately, a dance where girls ask guys. It was a HUGE mess; people were all wondering who to ask and who not to ask and wishing that they had asked someone else."

"Then David called me up, demanding that I ask Spencer to the Preference dance. I absolutely refused. We fought for a while, and then he said that he wouldn't invite me to his wedding unless I asked Spencer to Preference! What was I to do?!?!?"

January 3, 2004
[Written at the end of Christmas break after my first semester of college.]
"Overall, I'm just shocked. I can't believe how much everything has changed. I guess I was expecting everything to be exactly the same when I got home. I thought I could talk to people the same, I thought I'd laugh the same and act the same, I thought everything would be the way that I remembered it. But it is not. I forgot to realize that the world would keep turning in Virginia like it does in Provo, regardless of whether I'm here or not. And I've changed, too. It was foolish to think that things could go back to the way they were.

"As I sat in Church on Sunday, I suddenly realized that I don't belong here anymore. This is home and I have great memories from here, but I can't stay and expect for things to be the same as they were. I've grown up, and that's the end of it. I can think back as much as I want and laugh, but things will never go back to the way they were. And when it comes down to it, that's okay. Things need to change so that we can learn and grow and become better people.

"Before I left in August, I felt like I had completely lost control of my life. I felt like time was slipping through my fingers, no matter how hard I tried to hold on to it. Suddenly, I had to go. I feel the same way now; here I am, completely unprepared to take this step in my life. But this time, I'm going to accept it and try my hardest to make this a great semester."

February 28, 2004
[Written after a bunch of us went to Logan together over President's Day weekend. This part of the entry is describing our sledding adventures.]
"Another time, we decided to make a big chain. Paul was in the front, on a sled. He held on to David's legs, who was on a sled behind him. David held Spencer's legs, who was sitting behind him on an inner tube. Spencer and I were sitting back to back, with our arms linked, and Austin was holding on to my ankles. Austin and I were riding saucers.

"The chain began to move, and down the hill we went. The only problem was that the front was moving much faster than the back, so I started getting stretched between Spencer and Austin. In fact, I got stretched so much that I was lifted completely off the ground! My saucer went flying out from under me and hit Austin, who got knocked off his saucer and let go of me. My body went slamming into the ground. I rode the rest of the hill on nothing but me, hitting every bump along the way. I was screaming for Spencer to let go; but, being unaware of what had happened, he faithfully held on. When we got to the bottom, I was completely in pain and out of breath from laughing so hard."

April 14, 2004
"Things never seen quite so bad when you've got a best friend nearby."

August 15, 2004
"One day, I took Jake to the sand bar with me. The sun was getting lower in the sky, and the light from it danced off the waves. I looked out onto the water, feeling it wash up on my feet, and feeling the gentle tug of my twenty-month old nephew holding on to my finger, and I could've sworn that I had accidentally stumbled into heaven."

October 27, 2004
"When we first walked into Galyans, Spencer and I were walking with our arms linked and he said, 'Shall we go up this escalator?' I didn't realize that we were standing in front of the escalator going down, so I agreed. He gave me a really funny look, then smiled, then we stepped on. It took me a second to figure out why I was going backwards, and by then Spencer was pulling me up the steps. When we got to the top I slapped him."

"Of course, just walking around the store wasn't enough; we [Austin, David, Spencer, and I] had to make more noise than that. So we started flocking around like velociraptors. And attacking each other."

-----

I'll end there. I was going to add in more from my AmeriCorps term and the rest of college, but I think those entries are for another day.

In the meantime, know that I miss and love you, whoever you are reading this. And I hope we get to reconnect someday.

"My dear Sam, you cannot always be torn in two...You have so much to enjoy, and to be, and to do. Your part in this story will go on."

Well...I'm Back

So remember how I dropped off the face of the earth and didn't write in my blog for five months? I remember that. But I'm back now! And, oh boy, do I have a story to tell.

The last few months have been insane. Here's the quickest possible version of it: I was adjusting to my job and loving it; then, one day, I was informed that my original contract was being terminated, and I had to sign a new one if I wanted to stay with the company; I declined because it was a crappy contract; weeks followed of arguing back and forth about whether I had been laid off or whether I had quit, thereby deciding whether or not I would violate the "Non-Compete Agreement" I had signed; lawyers and accountants were consulted; I went home to take a vacation from the situation and to surprise my mom for Mother's Day; I came back and started applying for jobs; I accepted a job; and now I'm in the middle of my fifth week! Whew!

So NOW I am working at an Assisted Living home for the elderly, and working specifically on the Memory Care units - Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and other forms of dementia. And I LOVE it. Quick background: I had an experience five years ago with this population that made me choose my major, but after I discovered all of the different fields I could work in as a CTRS, I went exploring and got side-tracked. But now I'm back where I started, and I'm happy. I could almost say that I feel called to my work - every day is a very fulfilling experience for me.

But this post is not about my new job. It's about life before I had a job, when I discovered, yet again, how much I LOVE being unemployed. I mean, of course it's stressful worrying about finances, but besides that, it was wonderful. I've never been one of those people that needs to stay busy; I can easily entertain myself. Not to mention that being home all day with Jacob every day was blissful.

Here are some of my favorite quotes heard in this household while when I was unemployed. I hope you find them as hilarious as I do.

---

Me: You told me once that you would rejoice if you ever heard me say something vain.
Jacob: I did?
Me: WHAT?!?!? YOU DON'T REMEMBER THAT?!?!?! Hmm...no wonder you've been so annoyed with me lately. I thought I was doing you a favor.

---

(Background on this one: Jacob is always complaining about how old he is. I always tell him that he's ridiculous and should enjoy his youth while he has it.)

Jacob: I mean seriously, LOOK at me! I am old! I'm thirty-six!
*An long, awkward pause while I wait for him to correct himself. Then...*
Me: Jacob, you're TWENTY-six.
Jacob: What? I am? Wow! I feel so much better!

---

Here's my favorite. I walk into the kitchen one day to see this:



That's our cookie jar. Wearing Jacob's glasses.

Jacob: Beka! Look, I've found our long lost son!



Actually, they do look really similar.