I love my job. Really, I do. But there are days when I feel like I'm working with Dory from Finding Nemo.
Three Examples:
1. One day, I set up a game of bowling. We played for 45 minutes, and it was a blast - the residents were laughing and talking to each other and having a great time, not to mention getting physical exercise. I was feeling pretty good about myself, even though I was dripping with sweat. For me, that group was all about assisting the residents while they moved from one area to another, and setting up the pins over and over again.
As we ran out of time, I announced to everyone that we had time for everyone to have one more turn. They all had their last turn, and I started taking down the game. One resident stated, "It hardly seems worth it to have come out to only have one turn."
I almost fainted. She'd had SIX turns...but didn't remember any but the last one.
2. Another day, I walked onto a unit to see one of the residents in an argument with a nursing assistant. He was angry that he hadn't had lunch that day. The nursing assistant was trying to explain to him that he HAD lunch - but how do you explain that to someone who has memory loss and doesn't realize it? I'm sure he thought she was crazy when she told him he had had lunch, but didn't remember it.
(*Sidenote: I think she was being ridiculous arguing with him about it. If he's complaining that he didn't get lunch, he is obviously hungry. The correct way to handle it, in my opinion, would be to just apologize that he didn't get lunch and offer to get him something to eat. Silly woman.*)
To prove that he hadn't been to lunch that day, he went around to every other resident on the unit and asked them if they remembered seeing him at lunch. Of course, none of them did because THEY all have memory loss issues but don't realize it. He came back to the nursing assistant and proclaimed that none of the other eleven residents remembered seeing him, so he obviously wasn't at lunch that day. And she, of course, stuck to her story that he had been there and didn't remember, and nobody else did, either.
I think the residents must feel like they are in a spy movie or something; how scary/weird would it be to never know where you are, who the people are around you, why they know your name and talk to you like they know who you are, etc. Or why they insist that you've eaten when you don't have any memory of having done so.
3. I spent probably a full five minutes one day trying to convince one resident to join everyone for a group. She refused over and over again. Finally, I left and started the group. She emerged out of her room a few minutes later, and asked in a dejected tone why she hadn't been invited. She had heard all of us laughing and talking, and honestly thought that no one wanted her there. Poor woman.
My grandmother has dementia, and it's really hard to see her do these same things. I worry about her so much, and I hope that there is someone at her assisted living facility that cares about her as much as you care about your residents.
ReplyDeleteJess, I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. I remember well what life was like when my grandfather starting losing his memory and other cognitive functioning. Particularly frozen in my mind is my memory of the first time he called me by my sister's name, and I realized he didn't know who I was, and probably never would again (and he didn't).
ReplyDeleteDementia is particularly difficult on family members; in many cases, probably far more difficult for family members than for the person actually experiencing it. I hope you find comfort in knowing that it is still possible for your grandmother to enjoy her life, though she will probably require many adaptations in order to allow that to happen. I am always amazed at the transformations that occur when I run groups - residents who were previously confused, agitated, or anxious are suddenly engaged, joyful, and friendly during a purposeful activity. We have great times, and I feel blessed to be involved in that process.
My prayers are with you and your family as you navigate through this difficult situation.
Hi Bekah, You are doing such a great work!! We had my father-in-law's care plan meeting recently. He has twice gone on a fishing field trip and had no recall of it...so glad the staff put a little photo in his room or we would not have known he went. I thanked the Recreation Therapist again at the meeting saying I had had no idea what an important job that is...as I see it it is the difference between life and not life for these residents!
ReplyDelete